Tribute to Evan - Given by Monte Gardiner

To those of us who knew him, Evan was a good man. To those who really knew him, he was a great man. In everything that really matters, he excelled, and it has always been an honor to be his brother.

There are lots of jokes out there about accountants, almost as many as about lawyers. I'll refrain from telling any today, even though I suspect that Evan would very much approve and encourage that sort of thing. In some respects, Evan did nothing to diminish the old bookkeeper stereotypes. He could be analytical, pragmatic, dry, understated, risk-averse, stoic, and regimented. But he was also ironic, caring, conscientious, irreverent, introspective, mischievous, and even poetic. We certainly can't hope to do justice to the man today. What I am hoping to offer you is the perspective of a little brother.

Most boys grow up wanting to be like their dad. Not me--I wanted to be like my big brother, Evan. Five and a half years my senior, he was old enough to be authoritative and ingrained in the world of grown-ups, but he was also young enough to be an advocate, a mentor, and a friend. This concept--that of an elder brother who fills these roles--should be very familiar to us who profess a belief in Jesus Christ.

One of my earliest memories is that of the 3 of us brothers playing outside on one of those blustery Spring days you find in New England, where the weather can change at a moment's notice. As luck would have it, the sun had given way to dark clouds and finally to rain showers, which forced us to abandon our playtime and go back indoors. At Evan's suggestion, each of us brothers knelt down and prayed, in turn, that Heavenly Father would make the sun come out again. Sure enough, not long after we had finished, the sun did break through and start shining, casting a peaceful glow on the maple and apple trees in our yard. As we resumed playing, I remember the sheer elation as each of us felt that our prayer had been heard. And in my mind's eye, even now (decades later), I can still see my big brother kneeling and pouring out his little heart to his Heavenly Father.

It's hard to over-estimate the importance of the precedents set by this oldest brother. This importance is not lost on parents, either, which partially explains why they devote an inordinate amount of time and energy to disciplining the oldest child. Evan certainly had it much harder than his younger brothers, who benefited greatly from the trail he blazed. I'd like to touch on a few ways that Evan shaped his two younger brothers, Alan and me.

1. Evan loved good, clean fun. As a boy, Evan loved sports, particularly basketball, he loved riding his bike and lifting weights, board games, and being outdoors. He also loved a good prank, but his antics were always harmless and were never pointed or malicious. Now there are lots of vices and troubles that a teenage boy can fall prey to, but Evan's behavior never game my parents cause for major concern. Whether it was dating, or driving the family, Evan set a high standard for both of his younger brothers, and it's in large part due to his example that both Alan and I made through our teenage years without any serious setbacks or detours.

2. Evan taught us that we can do hard things. Whenever he started a project, he was meticulous in seeing it through to completion. He always seemed to be able to figure things out, even if there was no one there to teach him. Our father always placed a great deal of responsibility in him as the oldest boy, and Evan responded by applying himself and achieving results that impressed even our dad. He had the strength of our father, and the quiet determination of our mother. He was a tenacious worker who hated being idle. And in retrospect, I think that must have been the single hardest things about getting sick. Evan taught us that the most meaningful and rewarding achievements in life are the ones that come from hard work and struggle.

3. Evan went to BYU. I suppose we younger boys could have gone elsewhere to school, but after hearing the glowing reports Evan relayed about BYU, we hardly gave a thought to any other school. We were drawn by the siren call of Evan's description of campus life, the pretty girls, and the independence that 2,200 miles of separation from our home promised to provide. Evan recognized that BYU was a special institution with a unique mandate, and I'm sure that played a role later in life when he chose to seek employment at the school.

4. Evan went on a mission. He didn't waffle, didn't struggle over the decision. He simply went because he knew it was the right thing. It's not hard to imagine all the things in my life that could be very, very different if Evan had failed to set the example and serve a full-time mission.

5. Evan was an independent thinker. He knew the importance of keeping the rules. He also recognized that while some rules should never be broken, it's o.k. to cut yourself some occasional slack and take a few liberties, especially if your heart is in the right place. For example, he liked to tell about a time when, toward the end of his mission, he drove way outside mission boundaries in order to visit a town in Bavaria which was home to some of our German ancestors.

When I left for my mission, Evan infiltrated the MTC (Mission Training Center) campus and left a large grocery bag full of contraband (potato chips, candy, root beer and so forth) outside my dormitory door. That was no small feet considering the entire place was in lock-down mode and heavily patrolled by a cadre of MTC cops, and it elevated him to hero status in the eyes of my entire district.

6. Evan knew how to be serious, but he never took himself too seriously, and he understood the value of a good joke. I think all of us could rattle off examples of Evan's humor. I'll share a quick example--Along with others from my family, he accompanied me to the MTC to see me off when I went on my mission. There in one of the auditoriums, we sat there while the president of the MTC stood up and welcomed us to the Missionary Training Center. He was a huge man who probably weighed in excess of 400 pounds. As he introduced himself, he proudly declared to all the bright-eyed Elders, "I am your exemplar. Do what I do, and you won't go wrong." Whereupone Evan leaned over to me and whispered, "You better start eatin'."

7. Evan loved foreign language. As his younger brothers, we followed his example in this as well. He made a kind of game out of it. He had fun with the sound of foreign words and cadences, with colloquialisms and etymology. He took pleasurein dialect and regional nuances and history and culture. While on his mission in Switzerland, he sent me numerous German-language comic books and a book entitled 1,000 German Idioms (that contained such hits as "You are the rooster in the basket" and "I've stepped in the grease saucer.") His enjoyment of language opened doors for us, and our lives have been infinitely richer as a result.

8. Evan had his priorities straight. He was talented, and he could have chosen any number of professions. Years ago, I asked Evan why he had chosen to go into accounting, and I think his answer was telling. Essentially, he said that he viewed that profession as recession-proof, as a job that would always be in demand and allow him to provide for his future family. Evan grew up in a home where it was made clear that the boys would one day assume the role of bread-winner, and that there were such things as budget cuts, lay-offs and hard times. As a result, one of the values Evan prized most was stability, and that value informed all of his choices and he conveyed that on to us brothers through the choices he made.

9. Evan settled in the West. He loved the mountains, the vast open spaces, and the feeling of belonging he sensed in the land his pioneer ancestors had once settled, and where much of his extended family lived. He basked in the proximity of his house to Mt. Timpanogos, which to him was a singular icon of the country he loved so much. He loved the idea of bringing up his family in a place that embraced the valued he held dear--a place where he was not in the minority. A place where he could see evidence of his beliefs dotted across the landscape in the form of chapels, temples, and universities. Evan's love of the West, and Utah in particular, was infectious and rubbed off on all of us.

10. Most importantly, Evan married well. This is the single greatest example he set for me. In the marriage supermarket of BYU, there are all sorts of personalities from which you can make your selection. Not everyone goes home a satisfied customer, and unfortunately there is not satisfactory return policy. At some point in 1990, we began to hear reports about a certain Margot Madsen, who was "different from all the other girls Evan had ever dated." I got to meet Margot over Christmas break, when she came to visit us in Boston. From the onset, I was struck with how intelligent, substantive, and fun Margot was. And the best part was that even thought I'm sure we gave her plenty to re-consider, she wasn't scared off by our family! In Margot, Evan found a true partner that he could love and cherish, and as an impressionable young 16/17 year-old, I determined that that was exactly the type of woman I would someday marry.

In a day when the law of chastity is considered passe and covenants are routinely broken, Evan was a model of virtue. After he and Margot were married, I don't think he so much as looked at another woman. He made his family the center of his life, and he understood that it is our children who bring life's greatest joys. He was delighted when Lindsay joined the family, and he spoke repeatedly and with great pride of Ryan, and reveled in what a fine young man he has become.

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Evan believed in the Plan of Salvation. He viewed this life as a sort of proving grounds that prepares us for the hereafter. He believed in the literal resurrection, and that the bonds of family and friendship need not end at death. He understood the necessity of making and keeping sacred covenants. He recognized the far-reaching consequences of his own actions, and knew that the blessings promised to him and his posterity in the temple are contingent upon his faithfulness. He didn't spend a lot of time pontificating or engaging in philosophical debate . . . the strength of Evan's convictions can be measured in the way that he lived his testimony.

Before I close, I want to express gratitude to Margot on behalf of all of us for the exceptional job she did in caring for Evan, prior to his diagnosis, during the course of his treatments, and also at the end of his life. They say that Ginger did everything Fred did, but backwards and in high heels, and that very much applies to Margot. At every step of the way, she demonstrated intelligence, courtesy and grace that so very much defines her.

In summary, as Evan's little brother, I can plot the exact trajectory of my own life as a function of the trail that Evan blazed. Everything good in my life has come as a direct result of his good example. I have 4 young sons, and I would be extremely gratified if each of them grew to the caliber of their Uncle Evan. He is a righteous son of our Heavenly Father. He honored his priesthood. He made his family the center of his life's work. He suffered the greatest of hardships with grace and good humor. He lived his testimony. As he awaits that day on which his body will be reunited with his spirit and he will again be surrounded by the loved ones he has temporarily left behind, he can rest assured in the knowledge that in every material respect, he effectively followed the Savior's example.

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.