Monday, January 18, 2010



Dear Friends & Family,


We have scheduled Evan’s funeral services for this Thursday, January 21st at 11:00 am.

The viewings will be held the night before, on Wednesday, January 20th from 6:00 to 8:00 pm, and also prior to the services on Thursday, from 10:00 to 10:45 am.

The viewings and funeral will be held at the Hillcrest 4th Ward Chapel Building which is located on the corner of 700 North and 350 West in American Fork, Utah.


I will post his obituary on my blog at www.mgardinergazette.blogspot.com later this afternoon. It will also run in the Deseret News newspaper on Tuesday and Wednesday of this week.

Thank you for all the kind messages and acts of services that we have received in the last few days! We love you all!


Much love,
Margot

Sunday, January 17, 2010



Dear Friends and Family,


Evan passed away last night around 11:45 pm. He started having trouble breathing late Friday night/early Saturday morning, and Hospice came out to start him on morphine and some other medications to keep him calm and comfortable. He spent all day Saturday in a pretty heavily sedated state, but his young and healthy heart worked laboriously all day to keep him breathing. It was truly awful to watch his body struggle like that, even though we knew he was most likely comfortable and unaware.

Finally, after everyone had gone home and the kids were in bed, I got to spend a few minutes alone with him. Then I turned off the lights and laid down on the couch nearby. I listened to him breathe for just a few minutes and then suddenly he just went quiet. He was completely silent and peaceful. My sadness was overwhelming, but I was so happy for him. That’s all I can write right now.

I’ll let you know when the funeral will be. Thanks for all your love and support throughout this journey.

Love,
Margot

January 1, 2010


Hey Everyone!

I'm sorry it's been so long since I wrote last. Between finishing up my last two weeks of work, getting ready for Christmas, and managing the increasing demands of Evan's care, there just hasn't been much time to sit down and write.

About a week after I wrote last, Evan began receiving in-home hospice care. At first our nurse, Sharon (who is wonderful), would visit once or twice a week just to check his blood and adjust his medications as needed. After a week or two of that routine, Evan's blood started going crazy - it would get dangerously thick one day, and two days later get dangerously thin. Then he developed diabetes, his blood sugar was in the four and five hundreds (it's supposed to be below 150). So we were constantly adjusting his blood thinning medication, checking his blood sugars, and trying to find the right dose of insulin. So, the nurse started coming about three times a week.

It's taken several weeks, but we finally seem to have the blood issues under control. His blood thickness has finally stabilized on the new dose of blood thinners, and he gets a combination of two types of insulin in the form of six shots a day to keep his blood sugar in a safe zone. Luckily the needles are extremely small, so it doesn't cause him too much pain or bruising.

In the meantime, Evan has been getting weaker, sleepier, and mentally slower everyday. Also, the steroids have caused his face and upper torso to swell up again which makes it more difficult for him to get up and down. The week leading up to Christmas, I wasn't sure he was going to make it. There were several nights when he got really disoriented and seemed like he was having a hard time breathing. Every night we would go to bed wondering if he would still be there in the morning. But he made it through Christmas, thank goodness! That was such a relief.

As I said my prayers last Sunday night I was feeling so grateful that we had made it through Christmas without any major trauma, and told Heavenly Father that for whatever needed to happen from here on out, I was ready. Just a few hours later things took a massive turn for the worse. About 3:00 in the morning Evan got up to use the bathroom and we discovered that he had completely lost his sense of balance. He couldn't even hold a standing position without tipping over. Because of the diabetes, he was having to use the bathroom every hour during the night, but because his memory had become so bad, each time he would forget about the balance issue and try to get up without me - resulting in fall after fall after fall. It was probably the worst night of the last two and half years.

First thing Monday morning, I called our nurse and within about an hour a hospital bed was delivered and set up in our family room. It took four men to help get him safely downstairs from our bedroom. A catheter was put in place so that he wouldn't have to get up so much, and the hospital bed has bars on the side which helps deter him from trying to get up without assistance.

Although it had been something I was really dreading, having him in the hospital bed has actually been somewhat of a relief. The whole falling thing was so terrifying to me. Having him in a safe place and somewhat immobilized has lowered my anxiety level considerably. And at night, I sleep just a few feet away on the couch so he can't try to get up in the night without me hearing him anymore. I sleep a lot better knowing that.

The hospice aides come every day now and have been great to get him up and help him get showered everyday; our nurse visits or checks in with us by phone everyday; my parents and Evan's mom have been helping a ton; and our friends and neighbors are just a phone call away - so I have more help than I know what to do with.

For now, Evan still has more lucid moments than not, so that's been good. But I know that could change at any time. I don't know whether he has days or weeks left, but we're just doing our best to keep him comfortable, and taking things one day at a time.

Thanks for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers. We have been the recipients of literally countless acts of kindness and generosity, big and small, over the last several weeks. Please know that each of them have meant a great deal to us. Trying to thank each of you individually is simply overwhelming to me right now, but please know how much we love and appreciate each of you.

I'll do my best to keep you posted!

Love,
Margot